


wrote the book on pain (somehow i'm still here to explain)

by AceSailorKoshkaRayn



Series: if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing (you're fuckin' perfect to me) [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Divorce, Lance's POV, Langst, M/M, Soulmates AU, in which Keith is basically a walking shitpost, self harm tw, suicidal ideation tw, that soulmate thing where you can sometimes hear your soulmate's thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 14:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12301314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceSailorKoshkaRayn/pseuds/AceSailorKoshkaRayn
Summary: “Space is fucking awesome holy shit!”Lance giggled wetly to himself, scrubbing the palms of his hands over his eyes.“What’s up?” Hunk asked, gently nudging Lance’s shoulder with his own.“My soulmate,” Lance hiccupped, and dug for his handkerchief in his jean pocket. “They’re such a-” he wiped his nose, “such a dork. They were yelling about space.”





	wrote the book on pain (somehow i'm still here to explain)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, tis I once again! It's the second part! There is more Langst!  
> Also, so, like, I know that it was mentioned briefly in the first story, but Lance's sister is, yes, dead, and the stress of that causes his parents to divorce.

_“I am so tired of being alone, damn it.”_

Lance paused mid-step, brow furrowing in concern.

“Lance? _Mi hijo_?” A warm palm fell on his shoulder and he jumped.

His mother frowned at him. “Everything alright, _hijito_? You spaced out for a second there.”

“Oh, um, sorry Mama,” Lance blushed, smiling awkwardly. “I think I just heard my soulmate, though!”

Her face turned beaming, and she wrapped him up in a hug. “Aw, baby, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you! Did she sound nice?”

“Well…” Lance’s mouth turned down into a frown. “They seemed...really sad, actually.”

“...Everyone gets sad sometimes, baby,” his mama said soothingly, petting his head. “All we can do right now is think happy thoughts.”

~/\~

“ _Space is fucking_ awesome _holy shit!”_

Lance giggled wetly to himself, scrubbing the palms of his hands over his eyes. It had been one month exactly, and his mama was angrily sweeping the wooden boards of the back deck, while his father had retreated to the guest bedroom.

“What’s up?” Hunk asked, gently nudging Lance’s shoulder with his own.

“My soulmate,” Lance hiccupped, and dug for his handkerchief in his jean pocket. “They’re such a-” he wiped his nose, “such a dork. They were yelling about space.”

“Aw, that’s adorable,” Hunk smiled widely. “Already sounds like a perfect match for you, Space Cadet.”

Lance’s smile wavered momentarily, before he forced himself to grin back, wet eyes scrunched. “Thank you, Captain Astronaut.”

~/\~

_“Are all rocks this weird?”_

An image of a [ strange black crystalline rock ](http://img.irocks.com/2016-updates/RARE16G/rare16g-76a-wm-assiterite-with-uscovite-alabama-fine-mineral-specimen.jpg) swam through Lance’s mind, making him smile to himself in the privacy of his bedroom. _Lilia would have liked him_ , he thought absently, and the thought only hurt a little bit.

He pulled the blankets up to his chin and rolled over, curling into a tight ball.

~/\~

“ _I’m gonna fight this fucking tree I swear to god.”_

“...Lance?” Hunk cocked his head to the side to regard his roommate and best friend, who had suddenly stopped dead in the middle of the room.

“I think my soulmate is actually insane,” Lance laughed, sounding utterly amused. “He just said he was gonna fight a _tree_.”

Hunk raised an eyebrow. “Lance, I hear you say ‘fight me’ to inanimate objects at _least_ once a day.”

Lance sniffed derisively, lifting his chin and pressing a hand to his chest. “I never said I _wasn’t_ insane, remember? Definitely my soulmate and I are just _made_ for each other, if we both swear at things that can’t swear back.”

“You’re both definitely _something_ ,” Hunk said fondly, reaching over to ruffle Lance’s hair, ignoring the squawk he received in return.

“Hunk!” Lance whined, swatting at his hands, “I just got it cut!”

~/\~

_“Jesus I am so fucking gay.”_

Lance smiled painfully at his mother on the computer screen.

“I’m sorry, baby boy,” the woman said, sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “I don’t...I wish it hadn’t come to this, but I- we can’t- there’s nothing us holding us together anymore. After...after Lilia, he just...and I can’t-” her voice broke and she covered her face. “I’m sorry, _hijito_ , I’m so sorry…”

“It’s…” Lance buried his face in his palms. “It’ll be okay, Mama,” he choked out, voice thready and weak. “I think...I’m pretty sure I knew this was a long time coming.”

“ _Lo siento, mi hijo querido, lo siento…_ ”

Lance picked his head up only briefly, lifting a hand. “I, _te quiero, Mama. Con todo mi corazón_.”

“ _Yo también_ ,” she said wetly. “ _Llamaré_ \- _hijito_ , I will call again. Later. Okay?”

“Okay Mama,” Lance wiggled his fingers in something vaguely resembling a wave, and the screen went black, leaving only a small square of himself in the bottom corner.

“...Buddy?” Hunk asked carefully, poking his head into the room several minutes later. “You okay- oh, no,” he stepped forward swiftly, gently pulling Lance’s hands away from his forearms, tutting at the gleaming red scratch marks adorning his dark skin. “Aw, buddy, no, what happened…”

Lance stared down dispassionately, following Hunk obediently to the bathroom. He sat on the closed lid of the toilet, nails digging into his thighs.

Hunk knelt in front of him, carefully cleaning the gouges and the blood out from underneath Lance’s nails. “You wanna talk about it, bud?”

“I…” Lance blinked, and his vision grew blurry. “My parents are. They’re getting divorced. Mama told me.”

“...Ah,” Hunk carefully spritzed the wounds with antibacterial spray before pressing down a gauze pad. “You know it’s not your fault, right?”

“It feels like my fault,” Lance hiccupped, tears streaming down his face. “If- if I hadn’t snuck out that night, then- then maybe Lilia wouldn’t have tried to rescue me, and then Lilia would st-still be here, and Mama and Papa wouldn’t be getting divorced, and-”

Hunk yanked him into a hug, squeezing all the breath from his lungs. “Lance, no, it’s not your fault, I promise you!”

~/\~

 _“Fuck this place, fuck these teachers, fuck this school, I am_ out _.”_

Lance cocked his head to the side but didn’t look up from the pigeon he was scribbling on the edge of his notebook. He was only half paying attention to the whispers around him, more intent on adding the perfect detail to the feathers.

“Pst! Lance!” Hunk tapped on the edge of his deck, pulling his attention away from the sketch.

“You’re wanted in the office, McClain,” the ‘runner said boredly, hands clasped behind her back.

~/\~

_“This is not how I planned on dying!”_

Lance would have laughed at the fever-pitch terror contained in his soulmate’s voice, except for the way he was feeling it too.

~/\~

 _“Fucking, knives, fucking- hair oh my_ god _I swear I’m gonna shave my head-”_

Lance looked up at the inarticulate snarl of rage that echoed down the hallway. Setting his tablet down on the table, he rose to his feet and stuck his head out the door. “You alright, Keithy-boy?”

“Do you have scissors?” Keith asked, immediately rounding on Lance with a mildly crazed look in his eyes.

“Um, no,” Lance arched an eyebrow. “But, if you promise not to stab me, I can show you how to braid your hair or something?”

“...Braid,” Keith squinted at him. “My hair’s not long enough to braid.”

“Hazards of having a mullet, Mullet, but yeah it is,” Lance shrugged, leaning his shoulder against the archway. “I mean, I could just let you suffer-”

“Nyeh, no,” Keith jumped forward, catching Lance by the shoulders. “Do not do that.”

Laughing, Lance brushed him off and turned back into the room. “Well?” he asked over his shoulder, climbing to perch on the back of the couch. “ _Sí o no_?”

Keith scrambled towards him, dropping so heavily onto the couch that he nearly tipped over.

Lance giggled, threading his fingers through Keith’s thick hair to try and work out some tangles. “ _Ave Maria_ , when was the last time you conditioned your poor hair, Kogane? This is ridiculous.”

“I lived in a desert,” Keith muttered, crossing his arms and wondering if this was a bad idea.

“No excuses,” Lance bopped the top of his head lightly, moving Keith’s part to sit to the right. “Your hair is mad thick.”

Keith grumbled, shoulders hunching.

Lance sighed silently and kept quiet, winding Keith’s hair into two unevenly-sized Dutch braids, one on the left and one on the right. “There,” he said, kicking lightly at Keith’s side. “All done.”

Keith jolted, nearly punching himself in the face as he leapt to his feet.

Eyebrows raising, Lance said slowly, “I uh, think you might be better off taking a nap instead of training, my dude. You’re super jumpy.”

“Am not,” Keith scowled, lifting a hand to pat at his head. “You put my hair in a bun?”

“...Yes?” Lance leaned back, fully prepared to make a break for it if Keith decided to murder him for it.

“...Thanks,” Keith muttered, turning around and stalking off, shoulders nearly at his ears.

~/\~

 _“_ _I created the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain, somehow I'm still here to explain, that the darkest hour never comes in the night- you can sleep with a gun but when you gonna wake up and fight-?”_

“You are so emo,” Lance chuckled to himself, curled up in the corner of the couch.

Keith flushed to the tips of his ears. “It’s a good song, damn it!”

“I’m not saying it’s _not_ , Keith, calm yourself,” Lance rolled his eyes, shuffling further into the couch and wrapping his arms tighter around himself. “I’m just amused because you are both a walking talking shitpost and also extremely stereotypical. Do you also listen to MCR?”

Keith went an even deeper shade of red, sputtering. “There’s nothing wrong with MCR! And I am _not_ a walking- whatever!”

“...Shitpost?” Lance arched an eyebrow.

Keith nodded, scowling.

“Keith, I have been witness to the inside of your grey matter off-and-on for the last fifteen years,” Lance said flatly. “One of my first clear memories of you is you swearing at the moon for being too far away.”

“...Shit, you heard that?” Keith groaned, sinking down on the couch and burying his face in his hands. “Oh my god, I was like _five_.”

“I bet you were an adorable toddler,” Lance smirked, and then shivered, clutching his knees tighter to his chest.

Keith squinted at him. “Are you cold?”

“Are you _not_?” Lance sputtered. “We’re in a floating metallic box in space! Of course I’m cold! I’m from Cuba!”

Chewing on his lip, Keith hesitantly lifted his arm. “You wanna…?”

“...Are you asking me if I want to cuddle?” Lance arched an eyebrow.

“Well if you don’t _wanna_ ,” Keith scowled.

Lance launched himself across the couch so fast he nearly fell off, planting himself in Keith’s lap and throwing his arms around Keith’s neck. “Fight me,” he said.

“...No?” Keith frowned, pulling Lance closer. “Jesus, you’re a bony fucker, no wonder you’re cold.”

**Author's Note:**

> *fancy rock is cassiterite*  
> Yes, I looked it up, it does appear in Texas :D it's vrr prett and I want one.


End file.
